There has been some murmuring among the business community about the formation of a Shattered World Soccer League. No one knows where it's going to be held or who will own the teams. This could very well open up a new area of commerce for anyone who would be interested in owning a team of their own!
THE JOY OF...SOCCER! This writer has quickly discovered the joys that can be had out on the Soccer pitch, in the Deathmatch Arena. Whether one-on-one or team competition, you just can't beat the workout that comes of kicking, passing, tackling, and--with a bit of luck--scoring goals. At the ticket window of the Deathmatch Arena, players can make their challenges by simply voicing a "challenge" and then choosing "soccer". Once done, all players choose their teams by going directly west or east of the ticket counter. There, they "register". Doing so costs 200 per player, which may seem a bit steep but I assure you it's worth every penny! Once done, they put on their sashes (red or blue, used to determine each team) and wait in the registration room for the gate to swing open. The tension builds. Crowds can be heard, cheering, chanting, pounding on their seats, as the players make their way north, into the gate area. You can hear your own heart beating. And then...the gates open! Players have to immediately make their way through the gates and into the arena (or, as the staff calls it, the "killing field") or else they forfeit the game. It all becomes a fast-paced blur then, full of hits you're guaranteed to feel later but at the time are anetsthetised by adrenaline. All too soon the whistle blows, and you're in the locker room ("recovery room," the staff calls it) caked with mud and blood and sweat, wishing you had two hundred more coins in your pockets.
When Belgarion was above Trax! The Masters of 500 =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- Name Wins Win Ratio Streak Score 1. God Dredd 103 wins 53% 1 losses 1,645 pts 2. Immortal Dodinas 96 wins 47% 1 losses 1,617 pts 3. Immortal Sky 49 wins 47% 2 wins 1,611 pts 4. God Greebo 76 wins 50% 1 wins 1,560 pts 5. Immortal Cormoran 16 wins 41% 1 wins 1,541 pts 6. God Belgarion 57 wins 39% 2 wins 1,538 pts 7. Citizen Ugworth 13 wins 46% 1 wins 1,534 pts 8. Immortal Trax 174 wins 59% 5 losses 1,523 pts
Welcome Sports fans to this months edition of, The 500 Report. I'm your host and commentator Nura Nal, and tonight we'll be taking a look at the in's and out's of the local 500 Masters Pro league. Newly ordained, Immortal Sky has surged up the list since joining the ranks of the wanna be Gods, and has taken first place from long time leader Dodinas. Dodinas has vowed to oust the young usurper from his throne, before he gets to comfortable in the position saying "It's just beginner's luck. I'll shaft him eventually". In other news, the highest ranking mortal in the 500 Masters list is citizen Ugworth who has shot to a top 5 ranking on the list since giving up his day job and devoting his existence to becoming the number 1 500 player in the land. We wish him all the best in this endeavour and are currently passing the hat around to collect donations so he can support his wife and 5 children whilst he practices his 500 skills. So here it is folks, The Masters of 500 (Top 15) list. The Masters of 500 =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- Name Wins Win Ratio Streak Score 1. Immortal Sky 68 wins 48% 3 wins 1,636 pts 2. Immortal Dodinas 116 wins 48% 2 wins 1,618 pts 3. God Dredd 130 wins 52% 3 wins 1,596 pts 4. Citizen Ugworth 25 wins 52% 2 losses 1,566 pts 5. Immortal Trax 210 wins 58% 1 losses 1,545 pts 6. God Greebo 90 wins 49% 3 losses 1,530 pts 7. Immortal Cormoran 19 wins 41% 1 wins 1,530 pts 8. God Belgarion 70 wins 40% 4 losses 1,513 pts 9. Guild Leader Falstaff 22 wins 37% 2 losses 1,505 pts 10. Constable Pharaik 28 wins 38% 1 wins 1,492 pts 11. Citizen Polaris 1 wins 20% 2 losses 1,489 pts 12. Sairac 4 wins 40% 1 wins 1,481 pts 13. Sir Coldrock 1 wins 25% 3 losses 1,476 pts 14. Citizen Ophelia 0 wins 0% 2 losses 1,475 pts 15. Dyskilian 1 wins 25% 3 losses 1,472 pts Masters list as at: 23/6/03
6. Immortal Cormoran 19 wins 41% 1 wins 1,530 pts 7. Immortal Trax 220 wins 56% 7 losses 1,499 pts 8. Citizen Polaris 2 wins 28% 1 wins 1,493 pts 1500 pts is average!
The Masters of 500 =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- Name Wins Win Ratio Streak Score 1. God Dredd 223 wins 53% 1 wins 1,639 pts 2. Immortal Trax 335 wins 57% 1 wins 1,623 pts 3. Immortal Dodinas 177 wins 49% 2 losses 1,598 pts 4. Immortal Sky 126 wins 52% 1 wins 1,588 pts 5. Guild Leader Ugnia 35 wins 53% 1 wins 1,587 pts 6. Guild Leader Galpec 8 wins 61% 1 losses 1,548 pts 7. Immortal Cormoran 23 wins 39% 1 wins 1,513 pts 8. Maurth 46 wins 41% 2 losses 1,512 pts 9. God Greebo 142 wins 46% 4 losses 1,496 pts 10. Ronin 2 wins 28% 1 wins 1,493 pts 11. Citizen Zshaka 2 wins 33% 1 losses 1,490 pts 12. Magistrate Nura 23 wins 36% 1 losses 1,487 pts 13. God Belgarion 145 wins 41% 1 losses 1,478 pts 14. Sir Coldrock 1 wins 25% 3 losses 1,476 pts 15. Ophelia 0 wins 0% 3 losses 1,471 pts
Welcome back to the 500 Report Viewers! After a break since our last report, the 500 world has been turned on its head, with a new Champion Crowned amidst a seething backlash from some wanna be champions. The world of 500 has long been a realm dominated by the immortals. As in the real world, long was the reign of Trax. Followers of 500 will have noted his fall from grace some time ago, to be taken over by various other immortals - Dodinas, Dredd himself and most recently Sky (shortly after ascending to the ranks of immortality). However, these same 500 followers will realise that there is one who has been slowly ascending the ladder of the 500 masters board with that rarely seen (in the world of 500 at least) title of "citizen". Although now carrying the title of Guild Leader and having undergone a sex change and name change from Ugworth to Ugnia, nonetheless, we finally have a mere mortal, citizen leading the 500 masters challenge. Obviously intimidated by Ugnia's sudden leadership grab, the gods and immortals have drastically decreased their 500 playing. There not having been a 500 match in over a week. When asked, Ugnia said that she was "very disappointed about the lack of 500 playing. Once, recently, I even blundered in on a rogue meeting of immortals held in the Adventurers Guild! Never before have I seen more than a couple of immortals in the same room anywhere but the 500 room." Ugnia shook her head disappointedly at this point and could not go on. When asked for comment on this surprising turn of events in the 500 world, immortal Dredd had the following to say ''Ugnia is an upstart. A young punk who has been cherry picking her way to the top and who quite frankly has mastered a new winning tactic that has us stumped. Her preferred technique is to win by boring all the other players to death.'' Will Ugnia be able to retain her position at the top of the table? Will Trax make a comeback after months close to 1500 points? Will Sky reclaim the leadership? And when will he next crash the game driver with his immortal antics? Will the most recent newcomer to the game, and partnering Ugnia in his debut match, Citizen Galpec continue in his current trend and follow in Ugnia's footsteps? Only time can answer these questions. Stay tuned to the 500 report for more exciting news from the Masters of 500 Race! Editor Nura Nal.
Welcome, sports fans, to the latest edition of the 500 report. There has been many a game played since the last edition, and many shifts in the leaderboard. Most of the high ranking players have experienced transient drops, some even to sub-1500 levels. However, luckily for them this was before the new statistics started being recorded. In the last week, several stats have been added to the masters board, including masters of 4h and 5h, highest and lowest ever score for all players, and longest streaks for all players. Although in their infancy, the top of these stats are sure to become coveted positions, just as top of the masters board is. The gnomes in the sports devision here at the Sanom Times have been going through the records and have compiled the following table of the top 9 players, showing how each fares against the others. Dredd Trax Dod Bel G Ug Sky Gal Grym Dredd - 126/125 110/96 115/78 80/71 6 / 6 94/85 5 / 8 15/12 Trax 125/126 - 186/149 135/102 93/77 8 / 7 110/78 19/17 33/22 Dodinas 96/110 149/186 - 68/60 49/34 6 / 5 75/63 19/10 14/ 9 Belgarion 78/115 102/135 60/68 - 72/88 4 / 7 51/71 1 / 3 9 /10 Greebo 71/80 77/93 34/49 88/72 - 2 / 2 56/69 1 / 4 4 /10 Ugnia 6 / 6 7 / 8 5 / 6 7 / 4 2 / 2 - 1 / 3 0 / 0 0 / 0 Sky 85/94 78/110 63/75 71/51 69/56 3 / 1 - 8 / 7 7 / 5 Galpec 8 / 5 17/19 10/19 3 / 1 4 / 1 0 / 0 7 / 8 - 0 / 0 Grymston 12/15 22/33 9 /14 10/ 9 10/ 4 0 / 0 5 / 7 0 / 0 - (wins/losses) As the leaderboard currently stands: Name Wins Win Ratio Streak Score 1. God Dredd 360 wins 52% 3 losses 1,637 pts 2. God Belgarion 247 wins 44% 1 loss 1,608 pts 3. Immortal Dodinas 326 wins 49% 1 win 1,591 pts 4. Guild Leader Ugnia 46 wins 52% 1 win 1,586 pts 5. God Greebo 203 wins 45% 3 wins 1,547 pts 6. Guild Leader Galpec 33 wins 50% 1 win 1,534 pts 7. Immortal Trax 526 wins 56% 4 losses 1,527 pts 8. Citizen Grymston 53 wins 42% 2 losses 1,518 pts A further table that will be included from now on in 500 reports shows highest ever scores. Currently this table is a bit inaccurate due to highest score recording only commencing last week, however here it is: 1. God Dredd 1,666 2. Immortal Dodinas 1,623 3. God Belgarion 1,622 4. Immortal Trax 1,610 5. Guild Leader Ugnia 1,591 6. God Greebo 1,554 7. Immortal Sky 1,553 8. Citizen Grymston 1,548 9. Guild Leader Galpec 1,534 10. Sir Patrick 1,500 As you can see, there are plenty of free spaces in the highest score table, with 10th place being filled up with someone who has never been higher than 1500 (the starting score). So all you newbies, get citizen and then come over to the fun house for some 500 playing. Take it from someone who knows - it's not just for immortals. Ugnia of clan Ugworth Editor In Chief
Since the last report, two previous league-leading players, namely Ugnia and Sky fell to personal worst ratings on the masters board. Sky plumeted first, to reach a score of 1402 at his worst point. Sky's descent, aided by a whopping 13-match losing streak into the sub-15 was followed, a short time later by Guild Leader Ugnia, whose 9-match losing streak brought her to a career low of 1475. In more positive news, Dredd has claimed the first 1700+ position on the "Highest Score Ever" board, recently added to the 500 room. In a ceremony to congratulate him on this position, Dredd recognised other players who had achieved this honour before him, but before the board existed. There are currently only five players with 1600+ scores on this board, however this is sure to change in the near future. 1. God Dredd 1,707 2. Immortal Dodinas 1,633 3. Immortal Trax 1,629 4. God Belgarion 1,622 5. Guild Leader Ugnia 1,603 There has also been a recent influx to the 500 world of new players. However, there has been some controversy in discussion about the welcome these players received. Calls of "Cherry Picker", "Cherry Boy" and "Mr Cherry" have abounded as the Higher-ranking players partnered together against the newcomers. It would seem that Dredd and Trax are the main purpetrators, with accusations flying back and forth between the two. Some of the more recent of the cherries that were picked are as follows: Imm Sky/God Dredd beat Cit Cordoth/Town Fool Tigo Imm Dodinas/God Dredd beat Cit Rujhoku/GL Harmony GL Ugnia/Imm Trax beat GL Harmony/GL Cordoth God Belgarion/God Dredd beat Imm Sky/God Greebo However, further research has showed that this has actually been occurring for some time. Many of players first or second games, it seems, were played against veteran players, while often paired with other newcomers to the game: Imm Trax/Magistrate Nura beat Imm Dodinas/Cit Zshaka Imm Trax/God Dredd beat Cit Scruffy/God Belgarion God Belgarion/Imm Trax beat GL Sairac/Magistrate Octcela Imm Dodinas/Imm Trax beat Cit Otto/Cit Tigo It would seem, however, that even this tactic, most likely used to boost ratings and prevent the occurence of losing streaks the like of Sky's and Ugnia's, is not foolproof: GL Cordoth/Town Fool Tigo beat Imm Sky/God Dredd The masters table is currently headed up by Belgarion, 17 points ahead of Dredd. Dredd showed his frustration about his position in second place by zapping his partner during a recent game. The Sanom City Times would like to recommend to Belgarion that he lay low in the near future, lest he feel the wrath of an immortal in second place. Do not be discouraged from taking up 500, all you new citizens of Sanom - the rewards of the game of 500 are valuable and many. 1. God Belgarion 248 wins 44% 1 win 1,619 pts 2. God Dredd 381 wins 53% 2 wins 1,602 pts 3. Immortal Dodinas 347 wins 49% 1 loss 1,598 pts 4. Guild Leader Galpec 34 wins 50% 1 win 1,539 pts 5. God Greebo 206 wins 45% 1 win 1,532 pts 6. Grymston 53 wins 41% 3 losses 1,526 pts 7. Immortal Trax 547 wins 56% 5 losses 1,524 pts 8. Immortal Cormoran 41 wins 34% 3 losses 1,504 pts 9. Guild Leader Ugnia 53 wins 48% 1 win 1,501 pts 10. Guild Leader Cordoth 2 wins 40% 1 win 1,500 pts 11. Guild Leader Harmony 2 wins 40% 1 loss 1,499 pts 12. Immortal Sky 237 wins 46% 3 wins 1,498 pts 13. Immortal Korlan 2 wins 28% 1 win 1,493 pts 14. Queen Nura 24 wins 36% 1 win 1,492 pts 15. Guild Leader Zshaka 3 wins 33% 1 loss 1,489 pts Ugnia of clan Ugworth Editor in Chief
Much playing of 500 has occured in the last year. Trax has reclaimed the lead, with a score of 1620, and Sky has completely recovered from his slump in the previous year to return to 4th place, only 35 points behind the lead. Ugnia however, has remained in her slump, and is currently holding out at position 17. We also had a bit of controversy in the room recently, with a heated debate between Dredd and Trax about the ethics of 5-handed 500. Dredd, having not won the bid for the hand, was not chosen as partner on a bid of misere - he should then have attempted to lose every trick so as to cause the other team to lose. However doing so would have led Dodinas, who had won the bid, to fall below -500 points (the so called ass end), thus causing Dredd himself to come 2nd last in the game overall. He had an opportunity to lose a hand in the first trick - and chose not to take it. When Trax became aware of this (note he would have won the match had this trick been lost as it should), he became quite irate. The game came to a stop and there was much wailing and gnashing of teeth. Who was in the right? While I personally would tend to agree with Trax that having been chosen onto the team of 3 for that hand, Dredd should have played to the best of his ability to cause the team of 2 to lose the hand, I also can see the Dredd's point of view may also be valid - that only the person chosen to partner the bidder has a responsibility to play as if they were in a team in 4-handed, and that the other three are "every man for himself". This debate has not yet been resolved, and it is not known whether Trax and Dredd are currently talking. However, sporting fans will be interested to know that a new sport is taking over from 500 as the most played in the land. Perhaps this is because players see it as a way to make a quick buck of the immortals? Whatever the reason, players have been flocking to the room across the corridor from the 500 room, and poker is the name of their game, be it stud, draw or holdem. Many thousands of coins have changed hands in the last year in this sudden flux of pokering - strange in that the poker table has sat empty for all this time. It is surely only a matter of time until we start having rankings of poker players, as we do for 500. Speaking of 500, let's get back to all those stats. Thanks to Trax, we have a new set of stats for you sports fans. These are the win / loss ratios for each of the bids possible in 500. We have that of 4-handed: Spades Clubs Diamonds Hearts No-trumps Six 1 / 2 4 / 6 7 /11 5 / 6 50% 66% 63% 83% Seven 13/26 21/32 39/56 39/54 28/34 50% 65% 67% 72% 82% Eight 21/44 20/34 44/77 39/64 17/38 47% 58% 57% 60% 44% Nine 0 /10 4 /17 1 / 3 5 / 9 4 / 5 0% 23% 33% 55% 80% Ten 2 / 6 1 / 7 5 / 9 1 / 5 3 / 8 33% 14% 55% 20% 37% Misere: Closed: 59/95 Open: 43/95 52% 45% From this wee see that 7 to 8 tricks seems to be the popular way to go, with win ratios greatest from 7 no trumps (other than the 83% from only 6 hands of 6nt played). Spades seems to be a bad suit to bid in four handed 500, and 7 spades is the lowest bid of all the 7 and 8 trick bids. And then there is the less played variant of 5-handed 500: Spades Clubs Diamonds Hearts No-trumps Six 2 / 3 2 / 2 4 / 4 3 / 4 6 / 9 66% 100% 100% 75% 66% Seven 1 / 4 1 / 4 2 / 3 2 / 2 6 /10 25% 25% 66% 100% 60% Eight 0 / 5 8 /15 6 /14 4 / 8 15/32 0 % 53% 42% 50% 46% Nine 0 / 4 2 / 2 4 / 7 2 / 5 0 % 100% 57% 40% Ten 1 / 2 50% Misere: Open: 8 /19 42% Here we see that no-trumps is by far the most popular bid in 5 handed 500. There are not really enough bids of any other suit to comment much on these statistics. However, it is noticable that there is a lot less bidding of the ultra-high bids in 5 handed. There has not been much of a change in the highest score standings this year, with Trax snatching second place from Dodinas with a score of 1661, and Sky claiming fifth from the discraced Ugnia, who is lucky to even appear on this listing: The Masters of 500 - Highest ever scores =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- 1. God Dredd 1,707 2. Immortal Trax 1,661 3. Immortal Dodinas 1,633 4. God Belgarion 1,622 5. Immortal Sky 1,610 6. Guild Leader Ugnia 1,603 So - will Ugnia ever claim a place back in the top 15 of 500? When asked for comment her manager claimed she was too distressed to talk. Will Dredd remain on top of the highest ever scores listing? Or will Trax reclaim the position? How long can Trax keep the ranking of number 1 500 master in the realm? Will they ever play each other again after the row over the 5-handed game? Stay tuned next edition for more sports news. The Masters of 500 - Overall play =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- Name Wins Win Ratio Streak Score 1. Immortal Trax 575 wins 56% 1 win 1,620 pts 2. God Belgarion 254 wins 44% 1 loss 1,591 pts 3. God Dredd 402 wins 52% 1 win 1,585 pts 4. Immortal Sky 257 wins 47% 1 loss 1,568 pts 5. Constable Mehos 56 wins 42% 1 loss 1,545 pts 6. God Greebo 212 wins 44% 2 losses 1,538 pts 7. Immortal Dodinas 359 wins 49% 3 losses 1,531 pts 8. Citizen Harmony 3 wins 50% 1 win 1,513 pts 9. Immortal Moridin 52 wins 30% 4 wins 1,508 pts 10. Immortal Cormoran 41 wins 33% 5 losses 1,501 pts 11. Guild Leader Galpec 36 wins 48% 3 losses 1,498 pts 17. Guild Leader Ugnia 56 wins 46% 1 win 1,477 pts Ugnia of Clan Ugworth Editor-in-chief
This would normally be the place of the 500 report. However there have been so few games played in recent times, that it is not worth placing a report. Have the gods given up on their favourite game? Are they too busy coding? Maybe they just don't like the new owner? If anyone is interested in becoming the regular 500 reporter, please mudmail me Ugnia, editor in chief For those of you who are interested, here are the current 500 standings: 1. God Dredd 410 wins 53% 5 wins 1,661 pts 2. Immortal Trax 585 wins 56% 3 wins 1,630 pts 3. God Belgarion 257 wins 44% 2 losses 1,608 pts 4. Immortal Sky 264 wins 47% 2 wins 1,564 pts 5. Mehos 56 wins 42% 1 loss 1,545 pts 6. Magistrate Ugnia 60 wins 47% 1 win 1,530 pts 7. Citizen Harmony 3 wins 50% 1 win 1,513 pts 8. God Greebo 212 wins 44% 5 losses 1,511 pts 9. Immortal Cormoran 43 wins 34% 1 loss 1,510 pts
File last modified: Mon Oct 16 15:27:36 2006